text-plexities

Text messaging has turned into a fine-tuned art form with too many critics holding varying standards. Especially when it comes to texting members of the opposite (or same) sex you might be interested in. It's rather ridiculous how much thought goes into those 2 sentences that are created to appear as though no thought was put into them at all. I used to think it was just a thing that girls did, mulling over phrasing, timing, use of emoticons - or lack thereof, until I was recently with a male friend who was asking me all the same questions. And so, without further ado, I present the many intricacies of the modern day text:

How long do you have to wait to send a text message to someone you like? Do you bite the bullet and send the first text or hold out in a text standoff to see who blinks first? Do you have to wait the corresponding amount of time to reply as they did? Since he waited 3.5 hours should I wait 4? Or can I just reply after a half hour cause clearly we both know I read the text the second I heard the buzz of my phone. WHY do people wait so long to respond? To make it seem like they're cool/too busy doing other awesome things? I know they're not, they're just annoying, really.

Do you have to be clever/witty/funny or can you just say what you mean and mean what you say? I hate the pressure when text flirting to try to say something totally original and charming to make them fall a little bit more in love with you. Especially since half the time the advice and one-liners are coming from girlfriends sitting around at brunch discussing the best comeback lines for 45 minutes before pressing send. It's usually not coming directly from the person you're corresponding with, so why the charade?

Use of emoticons/punctuation is a HUGE area of debate. Depending on who you ask there are certain uses that are cute, and others that would make someone cancel their date and delete said persons phone number instantly. I know girls who would send smiley faces, but would be repulsed if they received them. I personally enjoy the use of exclamation points! Others find it annoying. Some ladies would dump a guy for using LOL or hehehe, as those aren't deemed "manly." As I was writing one of these texts recently, I used a comma in the middle of a sentence. I showed it to my friend for approval before pressing send. She looked at it for a minute, dissatisfied, even mildly disgusted. I asked her what was wrong with it and she told me point blank, "that comma's all wrong, try a dash." She entered the dash, and sure enough, BOOM! Her face lit up with excitement, that's it! Press send!

The funny thing is there are no rights and wrongs in the art of the text, just personal (sometimes very strong) preferences. So just go with your gut, because in the end, the use of a comma vs. a dash isn't going to make or break the relationship. And if it does, so help you god.